I Cannot Say I Love You
by Elven-in-name
Summary: A backstory to how Bhelen and Rica came to be together. From the circumstances of how they met, to the night when they conceived their son, Endrin. Contains referrences to sex and other possible implications! Nothing explicit. This ties in with my ongoing novel Memories of Dragon Age, which can be found on my profile. (I wrote this one to show Bhelen can be caring and loving, too!)


It was unbelievable. After Bhelen managed to find a perfect consort, to acquire her from Beraht, and even to have some quality time with her, NOW she was crying. All because he wanted a Queen for when he would become King!

Granted, this whole trouble could have been avoided. Sure, he would need an heir for WHEN his planned ascension would bring the throne, but that could wait. He could wait. At least until the seat as Orzammar's king would be his and his brothers would be long forgotten. And his _father, too..._

But this was something Bhelen actually WANTED. Not just a necessary step in his ascension towards the rule of Orzammar. No, on the contrary. This was something he didn't need right now. A fine woman by his side could bring him popularity as king, but now could very well provide a distraction from his purpose, and as he knew himself pretty well, THIS was the case, here.

Ah, all because his damn feelings!

The same feelings he tried to deny himself when forging his plan, only for them to resurface now! He was just like his father...emotional, and weak for it. He hated it! The legacy, the weakness. His frustration born from the realization that his father was weak(the same realization that made him want to kill the old man) turned into hatred. And that hatred made him, Bhelen, weaker. A vicious cycle, one started by his father but one that he would end.

Forget it, not the situation was inbelievable, he was!

To want to kill your own kin was evil, he knew that. But there were no other ways. They had to die, and he had to become king. He was not power hungry, but hungry for justice.

Oh, but that was his own personal struggle. One that affected him deeply on emotional level. And, as always, his feelings ended up hurting another, not him. In this case, Rica, who had wept close to his chest all the while Bhelen dreamt and thought mostly about himself. He'd have to change that, if he wanted to be a _good_ King.

"Are you alright?" he said, finally breaking through the painful stream of her sobs.

Rica swallowed her pain and tested her weakened voice.

"I am, and I'm not".

Well, that was fun, Bhelen thought. He actually wanted to help her, only for her to keep confusing him.

"What do you mean?" he asked in the best calm tone he could muster. "Have I done something to hurt you?"

She sat up on the bed, using the fine, soft blanket to cover her exposed breast, seeing how he was already properly dressed, and sitting beside her.

Well, she wasn't really ashamed of her naked body(they've had sex after all) but she used the gesture as an excuse, to find the words to answer him. In truth, he hadn't hurt her(neither physically nor otherwise) but she felt bad inside(in her heart) after they slept together. Oh, he was so much better than the other noble bastards Beraht had laid upon her, that was not the peoblem.

The issue was that it was all too good to be true: his gentle advances at first, then his performance, and the fact that he said he bought her for good. That and he would take her and her brother, and even her mother, into his noble house.

And she agreed, and then they joined their bodies and their souls together...and as mentioned before, it was a dream come true.

A dream that crumbled too easily when she came to her senses and remembered that short conversation between Bhelen and Beraht; back when she was delivered to the former's chamber, after being transported by Beraht himself, and blindfolded for some reason.

That conversation still sent shivers down her spine:

"Thanks for a quick delivery", Bhelen said, taking the blindfold off, then looking at her FORMER "benefactor".

" My pleasure," Beraht replied eyeing his money coffers and slapping her ass for the last time, "just don't eat her whole, at once!"

Then they shared a mischievous smirk . Yes, even Bhelen , whom she called Ser, out of respect, for a brief time, before he proved annoyed by that and gave his name.

Oh, it was painful for Rica, now , to remember all that. The difference between the two Bhelen's was hard not to notice: one was a gentle prince, the other was a horny villain, dealing with the likes of Beraht.

Which was the real him? Rica was uncertain, but she honestly prefered his charming persona, the one that treated her good ever since that incident with Beraht.

She preferred the man that denied himself the superiority, making her feel good with not just gifts, but with his general attitude to her. And for no apparent reason...or was it?

She knew men enough to realize they always wanted something, each small gesture a subtle demand for something. Whether it was to spread her legs, or bring him groceries, a man always wanted something.

But what could he want now, after she was already his? Bought for good. What did he want, to make him so ...

So willing to treat her good?

Rica could not find an answer to her question, and she jumped out of her meditations as he gently put his hand on her shoulder.

"...so?" he asked.

Then, she couldn't hold it in her anymore, and told him everything that troubled her.

Throughout the story, he held her hand into his and tightened his grio slightly, along with a reassuring "Okay" when she stopped and seemingly couldn't go further or she was tired.

Albeit it was hard, she pushed on through her troubles, and put all her trust in this man, this stranger whom she...

No. She couldn't say it, not even to herself.

So she told him about her insecurities, her past, how her mother used to beat her and her baby brother in drunked rage, her hatred for that bastard(Beraht) who forced her to do unspeakeble things, who used her and her brother...oh, and in the end, it felt all so relieving. Like a big weight was lifted from her shoulders.

At the end of it, she felt herself hugged by two strong arms and just let herself enjoy that warm embrace.

And then, several moments later, she opened her eyes and looked straight at the emblem on his shirt, on his chest.

That... _that_ couldn't be!

She pulled away suddenly, but somehow he wasn't alarmed by it, and she asked "What is this, on your shirt?"

He looked down, towards where she pointed to the Aeducan crest on his cloth, and just smiled, good-heartedly.

On the other hand, she wasn't so happy. She frowned, but was not quite angry. Just...surprised.

Oh, how could she be so oblivious, she wondered. She had seen that insignia on his shirt , back when they first saw each other. But then she couldn't recognize it, because she was distracted...for some reason. She couldn't say why, exactly, but she had missed the little detail that she was obviously facing one of the members of House Aeducan, the ruling house of Orzammar. And judging by his cool demeanor, affable nature and self confidence, she could tell he was one of the most important members of the Inner Family.

"Who are you?" she said, voice straight ans expressiin very serious on her face.

He climbed out of the bed, stood up seriously, and then made a short bow to her.

"Prince Bhelen of Orzammar, " he said, stressing the word "prince" somehow. As it was irritating. But the rest of the words were spoken with a pride hard to comprehend by the dwarf woman.

Finally, she invited him back in bed, and said" You're a prince? I thought your name seemed familliar."

"Not just a prince, mind you" he said before holding her in another embrance"but one that will soon become king"

"Wha-" she started, only to be interrupded by a crushing kiss.

Then he offered his own story, risks be damned, and when he was done, they locked each other's gaze.

"Well, maybe this is going to be a sweet dream" Rica expressed, voice suave and stressing the word "sweet". "But" she continued on the same tone, I cannot say I love you."

" That is all right", Bhelen's hand touched her cheek gently," I don't need you to say it, just to do it."

And then, as our stoy ends, the "Prince's" clothes flew off him again, while the couple was due to another round of dwarven love.

 **Author's Note: Well, that's it. The story of how Bhelen and Rica (or Rica and Bhelen, whoever's your favorite protagonist) got together.**

 **I tried to give both of them the same ammount of attention, but I think I failed. Also, sorry if my bad writing got in the way of reading, I still have some problems with past perfect tense and past perfect continous, which are necessary for writing in past tense.**

 **But the idea was cool, right?**

 **No, nobody wanted an Origin story for how two pretty much loved (and loathed) characters got together?**

 **Saad!**

 **Oh, there might be a sequel. It's written already, but needs finishing touches.**

 **Tried to write about Endrin, Bhelen's son, but it's hard for me to write about children without making thwm stupid. Because, for some reason, wise children are hard to come by.**


End file.
